THE DAY SHE DIED INSIDE
by redsilverfox
Summary: As Chuck was moving on from the death of his father, but still feeling like an asshole that he is, a tragedy strikes his loved one. Is it now his time to comfort her like she was to him or will he just leave her alone? CHAPTER 7 UP! ReadNReview Please!
1. Chuck Bass, where are you?

A/N: This is my first fan fiction in 2009 and I'm hoping to redeem myself in this fic. :D

Summary: As Chuck was moving on from the death of his father, but still feeling like an asshole that he is, a tragedy strikes his loved one. Is it now his time to comfort her like she was to him or will he just leave her alone? MOSTLY IN CHUCK'S POV

**THE DAY SHE DIED INSIDE**

Chapter One: Chuck Bass, where are you?

I could see the flat line…

I could see the family mourning…

I could see the cold pale corpse…

I… could… see Blair… suffering

I was standing near the room to where Blair and the other family members had stayed.

I was…

WORRIED

CONCERNED, on her how her life's fallen apart.

I… WALKED… AWAY

In shame once more.

Never turning back

Never looked back

I rid the limo home once more today

As I opened the door,

Serena came in with tears filled in her eyes

As she was mourning not only for her best friend

But mourning for THE death of her best friend's mother

She hugged me as I came.

I just stood there… as apathetical as I was.

Her tears as I feel were crashing down on my shoulder.

I still stood there, she knowing, I wouldn't move, let go of the hug.

I headed to the Mini Bar in my room.

Drinking the woes away

Was I to go or to stay?

I reflected.

I…

Just…

Stared…

At my own self, my reflection

Whatever happened to Chuck Bass?

The Chuck Bass that was…

There for his friends when they needed him…

Not doing drugs…

**DEEPLY IN LOVE** with Blair Waldorf

But now,

Where was I?

Chuck Bass, where are you?


	2. Her pain was my Kryptonite, my weakness

Chapter Two: Her pain was my Kryptonite, my weakness.

Today was Blair's mother's funeral.

Serena was dressed up and ready to go.

I wasn't.

I still sipped my scotch.

She reminded me to dress up already.

She also told me Blair wanted to actually see ME.

I don't know if I will attend.

She was… suffering.

I didn't like to see that side of her.

I still sat there in my Mini Bar with my robe on and Serena losing her patience over me.

So she just rolled her eyes and said,

"I don't want Blair to be suffering enough, if you would just dress up, she might even appreciate how much you care for her at a time of need,"

I said nothing.

She just closed the door and left me alone.

I heard the car start up from below.

I took a peek, Lily, Serena and Eric boarded the other limo.

My limo was still there.

I guess I should be going.

Damn Serena.

A few minutes I freshened and dressed up, I boarded my limo.

I told my limo driver to just drive slowly and stop to where Blair was to be visible.

I saw her.

I pressed the window opening button, I took a peek.

I also saw Nate, who was comforting his ex. Serena who was trying to stop Blair from doing something, Eleanor's ex, Harold. Cyrus looked very, very sad. Aaron was feeling sad for his father.

She was crying her eyes out, grunting in pain and from the looks of it she wanted to join her mother who was to be buried already.

I pushed the button again; I couldn't bear to see Blair.

Her pain was my Kryptonite, my weakness.

I showed cowardice.

I should have shown strength,

BUT I CAN'T.

I pressed the button because

One is because of Blair.

Two is because of Nate seeing me.

I saw Nate running towards the limo.

I told my driver to make his driving fast.

I didn't want Nate to see me.

I don't care what he thinks.

* * *

**Nate's POV after seeing Chuck leaving**

"CHUCK, CHUCK," I kept screaming and running till I was out of breath,

Why would he just run away, or rather drive away when Blair needed him the most?

I came back, still looking if Chuck could be back.

I helped Serena with Blair who wanted to jump and join her mother.

She stopped sobbing for a while and asked Serena and I, she looked at me first,

"Where's Chuck?"

I couldn't answer.

I didn't know what to answer.

I shook my head.

She looked at Serena and also shook hers.

Blair started tearing up a bit.

I just caressed her arm.

I just hope it's going to be okay and Chuck will be back.


	3. Sorry, I just can't

A/N: GUYS, please, I NEED REVIEWS. Not that I am desperate, it's because, I work better with CONSTRUCTIVE criticism and REVIEWS. :D

I ALSO BELIEVE I DIDN'T DO GOOD THIS TIME.

Chapter Three: Sorry, I just can't.

**SERENA POV**

"Bastard," I muttered under my breath after learning Chuck just left right then and there.

I seriously got mad at Chuck's actions when I rode home.

As soon as I got home, I barged in Chuck's room, but he wasn't there.

I got more irritated as I learned he wasn't home.

I mean, come on, Blair wanted to see him even though she was mad at him for being so immature and stupid, but still Blair wants to see Chuck because she still has the feelings for him.

I kept on calling Chuck's cell, but no answer.

Where the hell could he be?

I was just worried for my BFF, who had just suffered a recent loss, and now she has to deal with Chuck going, going gone in her life after she has set that it's done between them.

**BLAIR'S POV**

I couldn't believe that this was happening to me.

All this time, I was with HIM, but with ME, he wasn't.

Sure, it was TYPICAL that Chuck Bass DOES NOT care for anyone except for himself, but still, WHY COULD HE CARELESS FOR ME?

UGH.

OF ALL THE DAYS, OF ALL THE TIMES, WHY?

WHY COULDN'T HE BE WITH ME?

IS IT BECAUSE OF WHAT I DID TO HIM?

IF ONLY CHUCK READ MY MIND, HELLO, EARTH TO CHUCK, THAT RECENT STUNT YOU JUST PULLED IS DOWN RIGHT UNREASONABLE IF YOU ASK ME.

WHAT THE HELL CHUCK?

WHAT THE HELL!

CHUCK BASS, YOU CAN'T GET ALL THE ATTENTION, JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE THE NEW CEO, YOUR DAD JUST DIED AND YOU DID SOME BULLSH*T THING DOESN'T MEAN THAT THE SPOTLIGHT HAS TO BE ON YOU FOREVER. GOD. CHUCK. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO ACT LIKE A SPOILED LITTLE BRAT?

**CHUCK'S POV**

I have blank thoughts right now.

I can't think straight.

I don't even know what to think.

I'm just enjoying a fine cigarette here.

Just that.

Don't think of anything else, you're enjoying the hash and the other stuff.

Just that Chuck, Just that.

Damn you Serena, why do you keep calling?

STOP.

GO BOTHER SOMEONE ELSE LIKE ERIC OR HUMPHREY OR SOMEONE.

JUST NOT ME.

ALRIGHT!

_Chuck sees Blair calling almost answers the one and only call she has made to him after their shortcoming. _

Sorry, I just can't.

**BACK TO SERENA'S POV**

"Mom, I have to go find Chuck somewhere,"

"No Serena, leave Charles alone, he seems to be suffering enough as it is, let him be,"

"Mom,"

"No Serena, just let Charles be,"

SIGH.

Why MOM?

I can't have my…STEPBROTHER…ew, I can't believe I just said that, be loitering around with drugs, who knows what might happen to him.

UGH.

SISTERLY INSTINCTS.

If it wasn't for Blair, I wouldn't be doing this.

I tried calling Chuck once more, but all I got was the always irritating VOICEMAIL.

I left him one though.

I hope he comes to he senses.

SOMETIME NOW.

**BACK TO CHUCK'S POV**

"_CHUCK WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, I'M NOT GONNA STOP CALLING YOU TILL YOU GET HOME. I SWEAR. UGH. CHUCK, JUST ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE. YOU JUST PRESS THE GREEN BUTTON AND THAT'S IT. SIMPLE AS THAT."_

Whore.

Doesn't she know the meaning of privacy?

CAN'T A MAN HAVE THAT?


	4. The Angel That Danced The Night Away

A/N: THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS. Mwahaha. :]] I hope to have more soon. I just hope. To answer the question of mely-fan, I'm still working on who's going to be with Serena, btw, Thanks also. Thanks klcthenerd for the keep doin' your thang comment. Haha, I hope to keep doin' my thang since I don't really finish these kinds, if I have reviews then I'll be able to because it keeps me going.

Chapter Four: The Angel That Danced The Night Away

**SERENA'S POV**

Chuck's not home yet.

It's been a day.

As a very concerned sister and friend, I called a recruit.

Nate.

He may not be as close to Chuck as before, but with Nate's help, I could be able to help Chuck to get to his senses and just make us stop worrying.

I heard the knock on the door while I was sitting on the kitchen counter waiting for Nate.

I opened it and it was Nate.

"Hey," I mumbled.

"Hey Serena, what happened? Where's Chuck?"

"I don't know exactly, oh, sorry, Come in Nate,"

"Thanks," he smiled like an angel.

"What do you think we should do Nate? You are his best friend."

"Well, we shouldn't say best friend, but yeah, I don't know what to do with Chuck, has he said anything to you before he did something as irrational as this?"

"No, but he was really down and devastated one day and he was like miserable and he also said that Eric, Mom and I shouldn't bother him,"

"Very typical of Chuck when he's like that."

"Not helping Nate,"

"Sorry, but I've actually tried contacting him and he really does not answer his cell phone when he should,"

"Me too, I've even maybe left him like a hundred voicemails already,"

"I'm not worried for Chuck leaving like this, it's because of Blair, I mean look at her, she was there when Chuck lost a parent, and wouldn't we want to see that in Chuck?"

"It's actually not in his nature to be so… caring… and very… nice…"

"I know, but I just don't know what to do,"

"Me too, you know, I think that we let nature run its course on them. See how it affects them,"

"You're right Nate, maybe that's a… very… okay… solution… for now, thank you,"

I hugged Nate. I miss the hugs and of course him.

He just smiled back.

"Bye," he bid farewell

"Bye," I replied being courteous.

**BLAIR'S POV**

Tears start falling down on my cheeks, to my black satin dress, to my hands and eventually in the bed where I haven't been sleeping yet.

Why?

MOTHER.

I LOVE YOU. I MISS YOU.

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO SO EARLY WHEN MY LIFE'S ALREADY FALLING DOWN?

I don't blame you nor God, but UGH. It just sucks.

Chuck still hasn't called back.

What an inconsiderate ass?

But still, MOTHER.

Why did you have to leave?

"DOROTA!!!"

I heard rapid footsteps going up the stairs.

"Yes, Ms. Blair?"

"Get me whatever alcoholic beverage we have here,"

"But Ms. Blair, you don't drink alcohol, it's bad for…"

"It's a special occasion, Dorota,"

"Yes, Ms. Blair."

**SERENA'S POV AGAIN**

I knocked non stop at Dan's.

Thankfully, he was the one who answered the door.

I reached in for a hug.

"Dan,"

"What's wrong Serena?"

"It's Chuck, he's… missing…gone…"

"Oh, that guy,"

"Hey, Chuck's not just a guy, he's my stepbrother and my BFF is… you get the idea don't you?"

"I am following."

"I don't know where to find him, UGH. I've been looking for him everywhere,"

"So, you came over here to Brooklyn to find him, very unusual because he doesn't really favor this place,"

"No, I just, miss you that's all, and I need like… you know… something, to help me think,"

"So, you came over here… to Brooklyn, to think?"

"No, like I said Dan, I miss you, with all this stress looking for Chuck, I mean you un-stress me, you actually help me. Ya know."

"I take that as a compliment,"

"I miss you too Dan, us, too,"

"Me too Serena, I hope that your stress over Chuck would be gone before you knew it."

"I wish it would be, but he just… just…"

Then it came to me…

OF COURSE.

I kissed Dan on the cheek.

"Okay, you should come here to Brooklyn to think more often,"

I slapped his shoulder since he teased me.

"Bye Dan, see you when… BYE."

I stormed outside and ran for it.

**CHUCK'S POV**

I…

Still…

Remember…

The…

Angelic…

Face…

That…

Danced…

The…

Night…

Away…

I can't have her now.

For what I've just done.

The…

Graceful…

Movements…

The…

Striking…

Unbelievable…

Seduction…

The…

Angel…

That…

Danced…

The…

Night…

Away…

The…

Lights…

That…

Highlighted…

Her…

Beauty…

The…

The…

KISS…

In…

The…

LIMO…

"_YOU SURE?"_

Unforgettable.

"Chuck,"

I heard a very familiar voice from behind.

A/N: OOH… CLIFFY. I HOPE I DID GOOD ON THIS ONE. Haha.

Which voice could it be?

Serena, Blair, Nate or someone else?


	5. Damage Control

A/N: klcthenerd thank you for a review and guessing the correct answer, It was so freaking obvious, haha, I am not a good cliffy giver am I? Haha. I am so sorry though that I haven't updated because of my school works. I also thank dylandaydream. :):):):) For being a good friend, classmate. :)):)) [Hahaha. RAKENROL DENISE NATE-QUINTO. weh. :))]

Chapter Five: Damage Control

**Serena's POV**

"Chuck," I called him.

He didn't lean back.

I rolled my eyes at this.

"Chuck!" I shouted now, but I still hadn't gotten his attention.

I walked fast to where he was and he was so high.

So high his brain I think can't even function right.

Damn alcohol, hash and drugs.

He was pale and cold.

Like a corpse.

But he wasn't dead.

I could still feel the air being exhaled out of him.

I had to call Nate for help; I know he would be scared and shitless like me.

"Hey, Nate, I need your help like right now, It's Chuck. He needs our help. We're in Victrola."

**Dorota's POV**

Miss Blair is jumping up and down on bed like little girl.

I warn her about alcohol.

She not listen to me.

"Miss Blair,"

"YESSSSS, Dooooroootaa?" She replies.

"You should be careful with what you are doing, Miss Blair,"

"Me, careful?" She chuckled like evil witch in Disney movies.

"Miss Blair, please, stop," I was trying to stop her but she isn't.

She pause for a while and said,

"I feel dizzy,"

And she faint.

Oh no!

I called Miss Serena about this.

**Serena's POV, back in Victrola**

"Hello,"

"Oh no,"

Crap.

Blair's out.

Where's Nate? He's taking so long.

_After 10 minutes…_

"Oh there you are Nate," I said relieved.

"What's wrong with Chuck?" he asked concerned.

"He's pale, cold, high, and apparently just nauseated," by the smell I could just tell he did.

"It gets worse," I continued.

"Blair's well, unconscious now and I am going to her,"

"Okay, I'll take care of Chuckie here and you take care of Blair,"

"Okay, Okay, just make sure he's alright, I don't want him looking like this,"

We both went to the limo carrying Chuck, not even saying a word, he's just quiet but I hear groans a bit but still he hasn't said a word, yet.

He lay down in the seat like a kid but worse.

Nate and I watch him suffer now too.

I don't know why, but whatever bad things happen to Blair, Chuck seems to also have an effect on it and vice versa.

The driver stopped at Blair's penthouse and I told Nate to assure me that everything will be alright with Chuck.

"Don't worry, Serena," touching my hand now.

"I'll take care of him," I let out a little smile and went out the car.

I went up fast to the penthouse and as I got to the floor, Dorota was waiting for me.

Dorota escorted me to Blair's room.

It was terrible.

Blair was well, I could tell, sleeping but I know she needs a friend like me now.

I sat on the other side of the bed she hadn't occupied and watched her.

I miss those sleepovers where Blair had been afraid to be alone in her bed when we told each other ghost stories. I would be by her side; we would sing songs and sleep through the night like little babies.

I lay beside her and waited for her to wake.

Just like little kids.


	6. He's dead

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, you klcthenerd, as always, my consistent reviewer, thank you! :) I also thank you dylandaydream for the review. Hope you're alright. :)

Chapter Six: He's dead.

**Chuck's POV**

I opened my eyes.

It was a bit blurry when I first did.

My head hurts.

But it's tolerable, enough, like I always say.

I could still smell the alcohol and the hash that stuck on my shirt yesterday.

I groggily sat up and I groaned.

I struggled.

My whole body felt like a ton of metal.

As I looked around I saw Nate sleeping at the couch where he usually did before.

What the hell was he doing there?

I felt the world was swirling and tossing and turning but I closed my eyes once more and rubbed it.

Then, I saw Nate wake up after a few seconds.

"What the hell Archibald?"

"Good Morning to you too Bass,"

"I mean, what are you doing here, are you supposed to… I don't know bang Brooklyn girl or something?"

"Oh, Uh, I got a call from Serena."

"And…"

"We decided to help you."

"Really,"

"…how thoughtful," I continued.

My head still hurts.

It felt like needles were inside my head.

Nate was alarmed by this and asked if I needed painkillers or Tylenol.

"No thanks Archie, I can handle this myself." I 'assured' him.

"Fine, Well, I better go,"

"Whatever…"

He left.

Then a few minutes after Nate left, Serena came barging on the door.

"Chuck!" she shouted.

"What?"

"YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!"

"Unfortunately,"

She rolled my eyes at my very bitter response.

"How's you know…"

"Blair?"

"Yeah, whatever…"

"She's sober… for now. Like you, she was unconscious she was mild and you were…wild."

I finally stood up and I was walking out on her until…

"Chuck, I can't believe you're doing this again,"

"You…sick… pathetic…loser… look at you… you're disgusting and you are such a big asshole… whatever happened to the old Chuck…"

"He's dead."

"Dead, why could he be dead, that Chuck used to not do DRUGS as much, that Chuck who took care of his friends and that Chuck that LOVED Blair?"

I paused.

"Well, I better leave you with your bitter and morbid thoughts now."

Serena left.

**Blair's POV**

I leaned at the other side of the bed.

I guess Serena's gone.

I still feel dizzy after the fall and after drinking many alcoholic drinks.

Uh-oh

I feel sick.

I ran across the room to my bathroom and threw up the alcoholic drinks.

I just feel sick.

I washed my face and stared at myself.

I touched my face and reflected…

_What's happening to me?_

I jerked a tear and I washed my face again.

"DOROTA!"

I waited for a few seconds.

"Yes, Ms. Blair?"

"Prepare breakfast for me, here; I just don't feel going downstairs or leaving my room anymore, understood?"

"Yes, Ms. Blair."

I took a shower while Dorota was preparing breakfast.

**Chuck's POV**

I think Serena was right.

I looked at myself in that damn mirror as I was about to break into half.

_Why is this happening?_

_Is this because of Blair?_

_How am I affected as much as her?_

_Is it because she lost a parent?_

_Or is it because of the many bad things I did too?_

I really should go.

I really should apologize and do something not Chuck-like, but what the hell, either I lose the respect of Blair and Serena and myself or feel like a total jerk and asshole until I die.

I took a shower and refreshed.

I went down to get to my limo to go to Blair's.

I paused for the mean time.

Thinking of what I am about to say.

I eventually went out and went up to her penthouse.

The elevator doors opened and Dorota was the first to see me.

She was… surprised.

I headed straight to Blair's room.

I knocked.

She asked.

"Dorota?"

I did not answer.

She finally opened the door and we stared each other intently for the first time after a long time.

"Chuck?"

"Blair?"


	7. The bottle must be upright

A/N: klcthenerd, THANK YOU AGAIN. You're the most awesome reviewer ever. :) I also thank dylandaydream to help me in the wine blah, and for supplying me important info. :) I may have paraphrased a bit. :)

Here's Chapter 7, :)

Chapter 7: The bottle must be upright or else it will lose taste

**Chuck's POV**

I moved closer to her and she was moving away from me.

She turned away teary eyed from me as I was about to reach in for her arm.

"Blair," I said softly and sullenly.

She doesn't even lean back.

I could hear her moaning.

"Why?" she asked shakily.

"Why now?" she continued.

I didn't know what to say.

She turned around and showed me a face that just made me feel like a total asshole.

"How dare you," she said with resentment.

She slapped me and I deserved it.

I kept quiet and let her talk.

"I was there when you needed someone; remember your daddy's funeral, I WAS THERE! When my mom died, were you there? NO! When you needed help because of the pain you were going through, I WAS THERE TOO! Where were you when I needed help?" Her tears started run down her face frantically.

"I was always there Chuck, you were not, it is now clear that you don't love me as MUCH AS I DO. You don't care anymore do you?" She sulked.

"I--." was the only thing I ever said.

"You are so thick-faced Chuck Bass; you don't even know how to even say just say sorry or even say the three words I wanted you to say back. Get out now Chuck, have you forgotten what I told you after you pulled that childish incident in your father's office?"

I stared at her and saw the new Blair.

"What the hell are you staring at? I said GET OUT!" She demanded.

She banged the door as I turned around to walk away.

A tear fell on my face for the first time since I was a baby.

As I went down slowly, I heard something fell and it was from Blair's room.

I immediately checked and it wasn't something.

It was **her**.

I ran to her when she lied on the floor like a corpse.

Fortunately, she wasn't dead.

She was drunk based from the bottle she'd held before we had our heated conservation.

Dorota hurriedly went up the stairs and I just said,

"Don't worry; I'll take care of it."

She nodded and followed my orders.

I picked her up and put her slowly and surely in her bed.

I sat on the other side of the bed.

I held her cold hand for a while, held it firmly and caressed it.

I kissed it and finally had the courage to say.

"I'm sorry, I love you."

I placed it on the bed gently.

I kissed her cheek and said goodbye.

I half-closed the door.

I went downstairs and gave Dorota instructions to help Blair.

I pressed the down button on the elevator so I could go out now.

In my elevator ride, I sat down in the corner and I stared at my reflection from the other three corners where I could visibly see myself.

As it was going to an end, I stood up and headed to my limo to bring me home.

**Blair's POV [The morning after]**

"Chuck?"

I shook my head; of course he wouldn't be here, as expected.

I still feel bad too that I said those words.

How did I get here in my bed?

Last thing I knew, I was laying in my floor because I had too much to drink when I was winning over Chuck.

Maybe Dorota was kind enough to pick me up and carry me.

I will never ever drink again!

**Chuck's POV [That same morning]**

I was observing a glass of scotch that I was going to drink.

I was comparing it to Blair.

From what I've learned, always store the bottle upright or else it would lose its taste.

"_The bottle must be upright or else it would lose its taste"_

Apparently, it suits her. [A/N: I am so sorry I can't explain thoroughly the saying, but I hope you get it though.]

Serena came knocking on my door.

"Hello," she leaned on my door.

I nodded in reply.

"So, I was told by our limo driver that you passed by Blair's."

"Visited is the right word,"

"Wow, Chuck, I'm glad you did because Blair just texted me."

"And?"

"Dorota told her everything, that you helped her and you still care for her after all,"

"Well, yeah, whatever,"

She just smiled.


End file.
